Cheryl Ashcraft
Sweet Shoppe Designer
I had so much fun during NSD by putting in prompts to ChatGPT and having it describe me, as well as making an image to accompany it. And I loved reading all the descriptions of my scrappy friends here at Sweet Shoppe.
The first day of summer is almost one month away (Sunday, June 1, 2026), so I thought it would be amusing to try this again but do it for summer.
This time I asked ChatGPT: write an unhinged bio of me as summer approaches and I begin my hibernation from heat and here's what I got!

As summer approaches, Cheryl begins her annual transformation from functioning human being into an air-conditioned indoor cryptid fueled by Diet Pepsi, digital scrapbooking supplies, and pure hatred for humidity.
While other people are posting “take me to the beach” content, Cheryl is drawing the blackout curtains, lowering the thermostat to “commercial meat locker,” and preparing for her seasonal migration between her desk chair, the refrigerator, and the nearest ceiling fan. She does not “enjoy sunshine.” She survives it. The moment the temperature hits 82°, she becomes personally offended by the sun itself. Her weather app is no longer informational. It is a list of enemies.
By June, she has entered full “memory preservation goblin” mode. Every sunset is photographed. Every dessert is documented. Every family gathering (inside of course) becomes both a heartfelt experience AND “content.” She is one minor inconvenience away from making an entire scrapbook layout titled “Nevertheless, She Persisted Through Humidity.”
Outside in the summer:
“Will there be air conditioning?”
“How far is the parking lot?”
“Can I stay in the car until you text me?”
She is deeply sentimental, wildly creative, and one heat advisory away from becoming fully nocturnal. Some people have “hot girl summer.” Cheryl has “climate-controlled goblin summer,” and frankly, she’s thriving.
The first day of summer is almost one month away (Sunday, June 1, 2026), so I thought it would be amusing to try this again but do it for summer.
This time I asked ChatGPT: write an unhinged bio of me as summer approaches and I begin my hibernation from heat and here's what I got!

As summer approaches, Cheryl begins her annual transformation from functioning human being into an air-conditioned indoor cryptid fueled by Diet Pepsi, digital scrapbooking supplies, and pure hatred for humidity.
While other people are posting “take me to the beach” content, Cheryl is drawing the blackout curtains, lowering the thermostat to “commercial meat locker,” and preparing for her seasonal migration between her desk chair, the refrigerator, and the nearest ceiling fan. She does not “enjoy sunshine.” She survives it. The moment the temperature hits 82°, she becomes personally offended by the sun itself. Her weather app is no longer informational. It is a list of enemies.
By June, she has entered full “memory preservation goblin” mode. Every sunset is photographed. Every dessert is documented. Every family gathering (inside of course) becomes both a heartfelt experience AND “content.” She is one minor inconvenience away from making an entire scrapbook layout titled “Nevertheless, She Persisted Through Humidity.”
Outside in the summer:
- oppressive heat
- mosquitoes the size of emotional support animals
- humidity that feels like being spiritually steamed
- sun that turns the skin red and crispy
- people saying “it’s beautiful out!”
- absolutely not
- soft lamp lighting
- cold air blasting directly into her soul
- Her desk, surrounded by planners, pens, external hard drives, and enough digital scrapbook supplies to survive societal collapse
- Photoshop open for 9 consecutive hours
- scrapbook layouts with 73 layers
- telling herself she’s going to scrapbook chronologically this time
- creating embellishment clusters with the intensity of a NASA engineer
- reorganizing digital files instead of sleeping
- aggressively romanticizing ordinary life
- crying over old photos at 1:12 a.m.
- snacks
“Will there be air conditioning?”
“How far is the parking lot?”
“Can I stay in the car until you text me?”
She is deeply sentimental, wildly creative, and one heat advisory away from becoming fully nocturnal. Some people have “hot girl summer.” Cheryl has “climate-controlled goblin summer,” and frankly, she’s thriving.
